Welcome to Volume 10 of Stupid, Evil, Horny where we pick 1 stupid, 1 evil, and 1 horny story that definitely wants to sniff Taylor Swift’s armpits. This week has been a bucket of just nothing but old fish heads and bullshit and has lasted about a century. This week we have a San Francisco homeless cruise ship, Trump does some blood libel tropes for a goof, and Stefan Molyneux is an amateur OBGYN for the stars.
Stupid: San Francisco Homeless Cruise Ships
Awarded by: Jean Krill
Cruises are similar to a prison. You’re trapped in a tiny cell (cabin) that smells like stale fish, and can be murdered by any of the other inmates (passengers) with practically no consequences. Both are occasionally inundated with diarrhea, vomit, and disease which their occupants cannot escape.
So, it only makes sense that Oakland City Council President, Rebecca Kaplan, would suggest the solution to the housing and homelessness crisis in the Bay Area be solved by herding the unhoused onto a cruise ship parked in the harbor.
After all, your average cruise ship costs $75-$200 a night, and when your policy of cramming the unhoused into jail in California costs on average $81,000 per person per year ($221/day). Wow, what a savings!
Rather than address the rampant real estate and housing speculation that plagues the Bay Area with rent control or affordable public housing, why not make everyone (landlords) happy by cramming the most vulnerable people into a floating prison that require massive amounts of maintenance to not become a floating death trap. Surely, a city that can’t maintain the infrastructure for residents it actually values will keep up with the hobo barge the good councilwoman is proposing.
Why, it’s simply preposterous a government would load people it needlessly criminalized because it disliked their presence onto boats as a way of removing them from the city’s population to their detriment. No doubt there wouldn’t be an epidemic spread of disease. That would be preposterous.
Unfortunately, the Bay Area ports say they’re not equipped to moor cruise ships. Undoubtedly, the port’s container ships will eventually be seen as a viable, and still, extremely stupid alternative.
Evil: Trump Signs “Anti-Semitic” Executive Order
Photo Credit: AP
Awarded by: Carl Wilhoyte
I can’t put quote marks enough around “anti-Semitic” because Trump is in no way a friend to the Jews of the world. His signing of a proclamation titled Executive Order on Combating Anti-Semitism is a milestone in a decades long project to unilaterally support Israel and de-legitimize the BDS movement, if not making it outright illegal. Various states have already passed anti-BDS resolutions. Jeremy Corbyn and the Labour Party in the UK have weathered such baseless smears for years from the press and bad faith critics, effectively ensuring their historic losses in yesterday’s UK elections. The President’s own failson penned an op-ed basically confirming everything I’m about to argue.
The Executive Order makes the Department of Education, run by scumbag Betsy DeVos (some sort of Scooby Doo villain at this point), able to investigate or even deny funding to colleges based on the perception of anti-Semitism, which in the Trump White House means anyone critical of Israel in any way, shape or form. Which the Trump Department of Education has already done in launching investigations into pro-Palestinian groups at Rutgers, Duke, UNC, and Williams College.
Trump’s followers tend to be a confusing mix of rabid actual anti-Semites who think George Soros eats white fetuses and genuine Israel defenders. He’s a BFF to the apartheid ethnostate that has successfully lobbied itself into conflating all criticism of itself to the dreaded claims of anti-Semitism. The point is to make the two interchangeable so the hard right in Israel can politically dominate with any easy narrative and eventually ethnically cleanse any non-Jews or Jewish Palestinian supporters from their unlawfully expanded borders as quickly as possible. It’s the fact that Israel is functionally an ethnostate, with Gaza its own open air prison, that also draws the paradoxical support of white nationalists because the fash see it as a working example of what they want.
The conflation of Jewish = Israeli is anti-Semitic for the basic idea of there being some sort of inherent national identity for a people of immense cultural breathe and history who live across the world. It accuses them of dual loyalty, or not being “genuinely” whatever country they’re from. It forces them to represent a country with a horrifying human rights record. In fact, the original version reported by the New York Times stated the EO “effectively interpret Judaism as a race or nationality, not just a religion.” Whew, that’s doing some tropes. Blood libel, anyone?
This is evil because of the way it defends indefensible treatment of the Palestinians. It falsely turns criticism of Israeli policy into an attack on all Jews. It paints BDS supporters with the same brush as violent anti-Semitic murderers (the actual support of which the President has enjoyed for quite some time). It’s bad, folks.
Horny: Stefan Molyneux, Amateur OBGYN to the Stars
Awarded by: Carl Wilhoyte
Did you know that there’s a 4,000 member subreddit completely dedicated to Taylor Swift’s armpits? I didn’t either, but now I do! I didn’t need to know that, nor do I need to know Stefan Molyneux, YouTube’s favorite phrenologist, is tracking Taylor Swift’s fertility like he has a ovulation calendar in his Taylor Swift Shrine.
Taylor Swift, through no real fault of her own, has bizarrely attracted a small white supremacist fanbase since 2016, something she has been vocally repulsed by. White supremacy has a special fetish for conventionally attractive, idealized white women, seeing them as objects of cultural power and fertility. They’re also impossibly horny to an extent yet measured by science, so their attraction to anything that could possibly be a sex symbol gets them harder than a granite counter-top. Sex is also a cultural genetic imperative, so not only do they repulse normie women like Swift with their clammy desperation and vulgar personalities, they have this whole other layer of neuroses about passing on the blessed white genes.
Stefan Molyneux is a white supremacist to his core, so it’s not surprising that he would track her egg count like he’s ticking down a Doomsday clock to white genocide. But if I find out he’s freezing his sperm in some hopes of an Aryan superbaby with Taylor, I will never stop screaming.
And that’s this week’s Stupid, Evil, Horny. Yes, most things are in fact terrible now. We are surrounded by tragedy that is preventable and stupid all at the same time, difficult to comprehend by design. There is no straight line out and we’re all just kind of flailing in the dark. Everything sucks and there are no easy answers! Have a great weekend! Make sure to check out that new Jumanji movie before you blackpill completely! (Or maybe that is the blackpill.)
Carl Wilhoyte is the co-editor and co-founder of Zero Balance. His work has appeared in Street Fight Radio, District Sentinel, Abomination Magazine, Bourbon Penn, and Farmhouse Magazine.